That’s My Story and I’m Sticking to It….
We all have stories to tell. I am no different, but some stories are a dime a dozen. What makes mine any different? It isn’t the fact that it may be an unusual set of circumstances, but that it happened to me and it’s important to me. I have faith that by sharing the feelings surrounding what happened with me, you may find your own solace, in that perhaps these events took place in your life. You know the old saying – you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family. I will elaborate. My word for the day is going to be perceptions. Yes, that’s right. More than one….
Thank You for Calling….
When I was originally given the news in a phone conversation with my oral surgeon, I was going through the motions. “I have cancer? Okay. Thank you for calling”, or something to that effect. Kelly, you just thanked that man for telling you that “this time it’s cancer.” Thank you? Really? Well, this certainly puts a crimp in my day. I sat in the fetal position for over an hour and rocked back and forth. Now, keep in mind that I told you my word of the day is perceptions. As time moved on and the world didn’t stop due to the fact that I now had cancer, my deep seeded resentments were beginning to take over my life. I was no longer thanking anyone for anything.
You’re Not Mad, Are You?
Bitterness was now beginning to bubble over. I had many scenarios revolving around my family. While I was in the hospital, shortly before Christmas of 2014, having the first of many teeth removed – “What are they doing?” I was now referring to my siblings as “they”. Were they singing Deck The Halls? Well, “Fa La La La La La La La La” to you, too. I did not care to look a the fact that I could have picked up the phone and called a family member and said “I need you”, but wouldn’t that have been too simple? I had myself quite convinced that the words on the other end of the line would be, “Kind of busy here. Can we make it another day?” I began to retreat into my shell made of steel. “Not today. I got this. I’ll call someone, tomorrow.” Over the years, I have come to the conclusion that my siblings and I will not have one another on speed dial anytime soon. It’s complicated
My mother is not capable of giving more than she gives. Over the last several years, she has moved into a new phase of life. After her stroke she needed to slow down.